i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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