That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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