she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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