i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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