he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
