why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize