Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I want to fling myself into the sun
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
