so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
