We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The air taste purple.
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