Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
