the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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