I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
