i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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