Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
