the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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