So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
