the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
