Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
