how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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