Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
