Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize