butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
