You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
