You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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