Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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