this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
