Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
