I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
