Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize