my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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