sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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