I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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