apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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