No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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