no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
