no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
