More tranny stories later!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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