Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
