Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize