I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
