: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
