I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
