So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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