Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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