Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
