She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
