i think i have herpe
just one?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
