its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
