ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
