dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
