haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
