i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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