this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just blew my weed a kiss
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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