all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
not ubering you a puppy
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
