i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It's just like the Real World with babies
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
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