there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
