i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
